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need spoiler!!! what happens in pirates of the Caribbean 2?

i can't watch the movie this summer. i need someone to tell me everything that happens in the pirates of the caribbean dead man's chest espicially the funny parts.

Will and Elizabeth get arrested on wedding day. Evil Lord wants Jack's compass that leads to heart greastest desire(which is a chest with Davy Jones's heart in it). Will goes after Jack. Finds Jack on island, where islanders think Jack is god that needs to get out of his flesh so they try to roast him over a fire. While they were celebrating they gave Jack a necklace with toes on it and Jack takes a bite out of the toes(ew). While they tried to roast Jack, he escapes. Jack needs key for DJ's chest. Lies to Will to get the key. Elizabeth tries to find Will. Will gets on DJ ship. Was fooled by Jack and now has to serve on DJ's ship. Will meets his dad. Jack needs to find 99 people so he won't die in three days. Jack meets Elizabeth at a port. Elizabeth forces Jack to take her to Will. Somewhere in the movie they go to this witch-like lady who gives Jack a jar of dirt. The witch-like lady was flirting with Will. Will plays some game against Davy Jones and his father for an entrinity of service or DJ's key. Will loses. Sneeks in DJ's room while he was sleeping and gets the key. Leaves the ship. Kraken was trying to distroy the ship that he was on. Will escapes and hides in the front of Davy Jones's ship. Somehow finds Jack's ship. Will, Jack, Elizabeth, the undead pirates, and some British guy(I forget his name) find the island that Davy Jones's chest is on. Will, Jack, and the British guy sword fought for the key. The British guy and Will were fighting on a moving water wheel thingie(I forget what they're called) and Jack gets caughti in it. Jack gets the key and they gets hits his head on a metal rod and falls out of the thing. comes to and gets the chest, unlocks it, and you see DJ's heart. Jack puts the heart in the jar with the dirt in it. The sword fight gets near the boat and somehow the British guy finds the heart and takes it. Jack, Will, Elizabeth, and the undead pirates leave the island. They go back to the Black Pearl. Davy Jones finds them. Jack was going,"I've got a jar of dirt," he falls,"Still got it!" Jack doesn't know the heart is gone. Jack's crew fights DJ's crew. Jack's crew leaves. Kraken tries to destroy ship. They put all their gunpower in a net."We don't have enough gun powder," Then Will goes,"Then use the rum." The pirates look sad, but they use it anyways. Capitan Jack shoots the rum and gunpower in the net while the Kraken was around. Kraken goes away for a short while. Crew decides to leave. Elizabeth kisses Jack to hand cuff him to the ship. Will saw them kiss not knowing she was hand cuffing him. Elizabeth gets on the extra boat and lies telling them that Jack offered to stay for the other's safety. Jack is killed by the Kraken and the Black Pearl is destroyed. The crew, Will, and Elizabeth go to the witch-lady. She tells them at the end of the world is where they can find Jack and the Black Pearl. They said they needed the captain and the witch-lady brings out Barbossa. Barbossa says,"So tell me, what's become of my ship?" Past the credits there is a scene where a dog that gets on the island(with the people who though Jack was a god) with the undead pirates is the island peoples' chief.
Funny parts:Jack:"It's Elizabeth, hide the rum." "Where's the monkey? I need to shoot something." "We brought you payment," shoots the monkey,"An undead monkey." The whole stuck on an island with the crazy islanders thing. "I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt!" Jack falls,"Still got it!"
Jack:"Dirt...this is a jar of dirt..."
Tia Dalma:"Yes.."
Jack:"....Is the jar of dirt going to help?"
Tia Dalma:"If you don't want it, give it back."
Jack:"No."
Tia Dalma:"Then, it helps."
.....
Jack:"Why is the rum always gone?" Stands up drunk,"Oh, that's why."
.....
there are more, but I forget.
This is the best way I could explain it. (I just wasted 45-60 minutes writing this.)

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